idk how the hell i’ve run a blog called ‘botanyshitposts’ for almost four years now without ever thinking to talk about this but in high school my little brother wanted a pet that wouldnt die so we got him a moss ball for $8 at a pet store and he named it tiki and it lives in this dedicated plastic tank at our parents’ house even though we’re both at college now. usually it doesnt do anything but over the past two weeks of winter break our family has watched in horror as it has gone about the process of slowly and ominously rising from its usual position at the depths of its abode to the top, where it now floats with gravel bits stuck to it from literal years of not moving. my mom has moved it to behind the sink so now whenever i go to wash my hands in the kitchen i have to face it and im scared
just squeezed all the water out of her like yall said in the replies and i put her back and shes still floating….maybe she just likes it up there
update: she sank to the bottom and stayed there for days and i thought this story was over until i WALKED OVER TO THE SINK JUST NOW
lmao on the edinburgh zoo site it says “there is a daily penguin parade at 14:15 but it may be cancelled last minute as it is a voulntary parade, we do not coax the penguins with food, and they may not want to go out” lmao anarchopenguinism
this is the cutest goddamn thing i’ve ever heard
I saw the penguin parade. It was a very slow parade, because the
pingüinos take their sweet time and aren’t very fast walkers to begin with.
can I volunteer to be a penguin
I feel like the world needs to know the context of the edinburgh zoo penguin parade, becausr I’ve been going there my entire life and I only found out about this the other year.
So a while back (I can’t remember exactly when but I think it was some time around the 40s/50s), a bunch of penguins escaped. A keeper left the gate open so a bunch of penguins just… followed them. And the people loved it. Look at these adorable birds outside their cage just following that guy around! So they get all the penguins back inside and realise that none of them really ran off, they just followed the keeper and went back inside and crowd thought it was amazing, so why not make it a regular thing? Get enough people there that if one of them goes to make a run for it (which at least one has in the past), they can’t get past the people, and let the ones who want outside have a little wander. So every day, they get a crowd, they open the gate, and whatever penguins want to get out can go, waddle about, squawk at people, and then hop back inside.
Also, one of those penguins is Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III, Colonel-in-cheif of the Norwegian King’s Guard. This isn’t really related to the parade at all, I just love the fact that there’s a penguin in the Norwegian army
Reblogging with Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III inspecting his troops.
Jenna: I hope we have kids someday so they can grow up and I can show them this and they can just be like “man my mom”-
Julien: So, they can emancipate themselves?
Her videos sound like clickbait but boy does she deliver
being a lesbian has shaped who I am and I wouldn’t be the same if I wasn’t a lesbian. that’s why I hate when straight people say being a lesbian doesn’t define me. I get what they’re trying to say and while there is more to me than being a lesbian it really is a huge part of who I am and has impacted me so much. my personality would be different, my interactions with women and people in general would be so different, everything about who I am would be changed.
Straight people have no idea how much their own straightness has shaped their lives and perspectives. They basically want you to make yourself smaller and more uncomfortable so that you will stop making them ever-so-slightly uncomfortable by being reminded that you exist.
Straight people would do well to remember not to straight-splain how to exist to none-straight people. You don’t know better than us.
I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”
I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments
Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”
My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.
I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.
please give us updates
Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”
And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.
I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.
op will not die of natural causes
That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts
the college I went for my associates had a river that ran through campus where my friends and i swam between classes and I just ran into a girl who graduated with me and she told me that since the river just ran right behind her dorm sometimes she’d put on a swimsuit and put all her stuff in a dry bag and get on an innertube and float downstream to campus and then just get out and put on her clothes and go to class and I’ve been thinking about that all week
i thought i was being wild i was like “yeah sometimes i’d swim in my clothes after field labs and go into math a lil damp” and she looked me in the eye and killed me on sight
